When I first started my business and took a stand for my right people I wanted to help holistic practitioners market their practices so they could be found by the people who needed their services.

As I got further along in my business and got exposed to a lot of amazing people doing incredible things I started to think about my work and how I was actually in service to something bigger.

I realized that while helping holistics to market and grow their businesses, I was actually (along with many other people) in service to multiplying the forces of good and healing on the planet.

When I started thinking about it in those terms I shifted from having my work be something I do to something that moves through me

I joined my business to the energy of something vast, something larger. I connected to a matrix of universal energy and support.

talk about a powerful partnership.

If you haven’t yet aligned with the largest vision for your work, I invite you to try this guided meditation to help connect you.  It only takes about ten minutes.

Start by just taking a few cleansing breaths. AS YOU’re breathing just notice how you’re feeling.  Know that whatever you’re feeling right now is acceptable.  You don’t need to fight with it, there’s already space for things to be exactly as they are right now.  If you’re tired, or overwhelmed, or confused, or peaceful or content whatever it is, there’s space for that.  Just continue to breathe

As you breathe I’d like you to think about the work you do. When you work with someone, what do you want the people your work reaches or the person you’re working with to know, experience, or see about themselves after working with you?

What knowledge do you want them to have about the world around them after working with you?

Whatever answer you came up with is the gift that you give the world through your work.

This is what you are in service to.
This is your mission.
This is your purpose.
This is the prize.

This is also the gift that your clients get to experience when they work with you.  Take a moment to feel how good it feels to give this and how grateful your clients are for getting this help, this healing, this transformation, this way of doing it differently–this gift that you give that comes through you
You are an instrument to heal, help, transform and create change.

This is a gift that you steward that is given by the divine. The gift expresses itself through the work that you do.

Everything comes from The ONE and you are the vehicle for that help, that healing, that change.

This is what you are in service to.

take a moment to just be one with what you are in service to.  This thing that you want to give through your work lives in your heart so bring your attention to your heart and just notice what you feel.

For many years I viewed life as one big struggle. Every time I wanted to do something I envisioned the obstacles–everything I’d have to overcome to make what I wanted to happen–happen. In my mind there was always someone or something in the way of getting to the destination. It took a long time to realize that there was just one thing in the way. Me.

There’s a big difference between hard work and struggle. I’ve used those words interchangeably for years. But they’re actually quite different. Hard work is putting forth a lot of effort to achieve the desired results. Struggle is hard work that’s complicated by fear and resistance.

Struggle tells a painful story about the ups and downs you encounter on your journey. Struggle says that set backs are harbingers of failure. Struggle is the voice in your head that continually asks the question: “can I really do this?” Struggle says that no matter what you do, it’s going to be hard because “who are you to have it easy?”
Sound familiar?

I’ve always been one of those people with the mindset that nothing is going to happen if I don’t make it happen. I am what you call a worker. To a fault. So when there were set backs or things didn’t go as planned it was very disappointing, heartbreaking even. Eventually I saw that the mis-steps and failures were just information–a chance to course correct. Sometimes not getting what I wanted brought me to a deeper place in myself, a place I would not have accessed if not for that experience.

Sometimes the answer to our prayer, is to not have our prayer answered.

Because the truth is, we don’t know why things don’t work out in the moment when they seem to be the right thing or when we want them so badly.

I’ve noticed for myself that when I’m devastated because something hasn’t worked out it’s because in my heart I don’t believe there’s another chance or another way for that good to enter my life. It’s the ultimate scarcity consciousness– thinking THAT way was my only chance…

Not trusting that something else will come along, something better, something that’s really in-line with what I want.

I had this very situation last year. I was presented with an opportunity that I thought would be a huge boost for my business but shortly after the negotiation started it was clear that it wasn’t going to work out. I was not only disappointed but really angry. I felt I lost out on something really good.

Fast forward half a year later and in comes an opportunity that so outshines the last one, I can hardly believe it. I can’t tell you how grateful I am that the first situation didn’t work out because the better thing, the right thing never would have found me if I took that other opportunity.

There Is More Than One Boat

This quote is from Abraham Hicks and it was sent to me by a dear friend last week, just in time to illustrate exactly what I’m trying to say:

“I worry that I’ll go down to the dock, and that my ship will have already come and gone. I’ll miss my boat.”

And we say, another boat, another boat, another boat. You have no idea how many boats are coming to your dock. It’s a steady stream, and it doesn’t matter how many of them you’ve missed.

The only thing that matters is what are you doing right now in your vibration? And you can tell what you’re doing right now in your vibration by the way you feel.

Oh my lovelies, there are so many boats. And when we can put our best effort forward and then let go and trust knowing that if not this boat, there will be another, and if not that one, then another…

Life becomes so much kinder and hard work isn’t such a struggle…

Wishing you the peace that comes with knowing there will always be another boat-
Love,
Cathy

It’s very discouraging.

Networking can be a real drag if you’ve got the wrong expectation.

A lot of people hate networking and I totally get it. I did too.  Until I learned a few key things that changed everything.

The most important element of networking is YOUR mindset–the thoughts you’re holding about your situation and what you’re looking to get out of the event.

Going to Networking Events Is a lot Like Dating

Many people go to networking events with the sole objective of getting clients.  That’s like going to a bar and thinking you’ll end up in a committed relationship by the end of the night by trying to convince everyone you talk with to go home with you.

OK, it mostly never works…

Before you join the legions of others who are setting intentions and thinking about what they want to create in 2012, I want to encourage you to take some time with what is and with what 2011 has been for you before we’re swept into 2012 and it’s all forgotten.

What was happening for you this time last year?

We’re so conditioned to always be moving forward–to get more, to be more, do more.  It creates this lopsided vision in life that has us always looking ahead, but never looking back.

I fall into this pattern a lot–being fixated on the destination without ever stopping to congratulate myself when I’ve actually reached it.  I’m focused only on how far I have to go instead of how far I’ve come.

Always Striving–Never Arriving

Showing up for life, being there for others, all the little things we do because we have to not because we want to–we deserve to acknowledge ourselves for that.  Not doing so especially when accomplishments are involved is toxic to our fragile hearts.

Not appreciating all that you do and all that you are will send you right to Never Never Land.  And I’m not talking about Peter Pan here.

I’m talking about the land of never doing enough, never having enough, and nothing ever being enough–also known as Hell.

You deserve congratulations for showing up and for all that you do everyday that goes unnoticed.

We all do.

In Yoga there’s a principle called Santosha which is the practice of contentment–of allowing yourself to not require more than you have in the moment to be happy. It’s the opposite of grasping.
Think about those times in your life when you’ve felt like everything was just as it should be and you needed nothing more.  It’s pure peace.

Being content is to the emotions as rest is to the body.  

I’m not saying that you can’t strive or want more, I’m just saying that there needs to be a balance.  Contentment is the resting place.  Contentment allows you to stand where you are which is actually critical to moving forward because you can’t move from where you’re not.

Are you with me so far?

You can’t be all of who you are if you can’t see all of who you are.

Don’t let this year end without owning all that you’ve done, handled, let go of, endured, transformed, or triumphed over in 2011.

You made it.
You got here.
Now let the love in.

“There is an applause superior to that of the multitudes–one’s own.” – Elizabeth Elton Smith

Between now and midnight on December 31st, I hope that you’ll make the space to contemplate the year that’s passed and allow yourself to be filled with gratitude for all that you do and all that you are.

Here is a little guide to journal with–I hope it helps.

What are you leaving behind or letting go of from 2011?

What was taken from you in 2011? (what did the circumstances and events in your life force you to confront and overcome or change)

Is there someone whose life you affected that is in a different place now because of something you did or said?
If you’re in the business of helping others to shift, step out of the role of helper for a moment and think about the small things you’ve done for people that barely registered to you but may have meant the world to them.   Advice, a sincere compliment, a reminder of who they are little things we often forget that make a big difference to someone else.

What’s different now from last year at this time in you or in your life?

What was the distance you had to travel emotionally to get there?

If you could sum up your year in one word, what would it be?

Feel free to share your answers in the comments–all will be held with love and tenderness.

Wishing you all the peace, love, and joy your heart can hold in the coming year.

Love,

Cathy

I’d say that the copy on this card is at the foundation  of what I teach my clients to do.  I’m always pushing them for “more you.”  I also know that this isn’t just important in business it’s imperative.

Chances are you are not the only one doing the thing you do, but you’re doing it in a way that’s unique to you. 

You bring something to it because of what you’ve been through; based on who you are as an individual.

And when it comes right down to it, we all want to be accepted for who we are–not the image we present to the world.

When you are your work, how else could it be?

No more hiding.

What would you need to know, be, or feel to be your wild, courageous, brilliant self everyday in your business and in your life?

Photo courtesy of Wink- via Flickr

Earlier this week I was talking to an energy healer about a new modality that she’s using in her work.  She was so excited about how powerful it was, how everyone she used it on was blown away and then all of a sudden, her expression changed.

“I don’t understand why I’ve been given this gift if I’m not really able to use it.”
The subtext there is: ” If what I do is perceived as so powerful by the people I’ve done it with, why am I not able to support myself with this work?”

That sentence went through my heart like an arrow and I almost burst into tears.

This is the reason I do what I do.  This is what I am in service to.  Helping those whose work is an expression of who they are, whose work is bringing help and healing to the planet, make a living so that they can get out there in a bigger way.

Because when we’re blocked from doing what we’re meant to do, what we feel called to do, everything and I mean everything in our lives goes out of balance.

As I write this the first thing that floats into my head is, “Why does it have to be so difficult?” Oh my darlings, I wish I had a nice neat answer for that, but alas, I do not.

I don’t know why it’s difficult but I know why many give up too soon

Creating something from nothing is hard, but I believe it’s the painful stories we tell ourselves and the fear of being seen (which is actually a fear of being criticized) that shut us down.  There are ways around not having the right knowledge, not having enough time or not having enough money to do your thing.  Those are just rationalizations for the resistance that comes up when it’s time for the alchemy.

But if you’re not open to the idea of succeeding (your first thought here is probably, “of course I’m open to succeeding, that’s why I’m unhappy, I’m not succeeding with my thing)  Oh, dearest don’t be so sure.

Subconsciously many of us are more comfortable with NOT getting what we want than we are with getting it.  And when things become difficult we launch the painful story that what we have to give must not be wanted or that we’re not as good as we thought we were.  Once that fear is ignited it brings along its’ friend resistance and the next thing you know, you’ve arrived at STUCK. Oh, and after stuck comes despair.

The problem comes when you misinterpret the information

The things you put out that don’t succeed are there to give you information, to help you course correct.  I believe that entrepreneurship is a spiritual journey and a path to transformation.  And so the difficulties are there just the way they are in life–to bring you deeper into who you’re meant to be.

I can’t stand the word failure.  Nothing is a failure if you’ve learned from it.  If you know you’re on a path to something then you see the mistakes as information, not as a commentary on whether or not people want what you’re selling.

One of the Most Powerful Business Tools Is Trust

And what are you trusting in?  Trusting that you were lead by divine guidance to do the work that you do.  Trusting that if you got to this place then there is all manner of help and assistance available for you to be of service. Leaning into grace, leaning into that assistance and trusting that the next step will be revealed to you is what’s called for.

Let go of the painful story.

Trust in your gift.

Trust in the path you’re on, even if you have no idea what the next step is.

The world needs you and it desperately needs the work you do.

Whatever you do never give up.

Photo by Hakan Dahlstrom courtesy of flickr

Today I’ve made a conscious decision to focus on what is happening in my business instead of what’s not happening
To focus on how far I’ve come instead of how far I have to go
To focus on what I have instead of what I don’t have

To bring gratitude and consciousness to my thoughts and actions.
To stop grasping by looking out there for validation

To start by re-affirming the YES to myself and my dream

I’m not stalled or stuck as my inner saboteur would like me to believe…
I’m just focused in the wrong direction
Looking outward instead of down at what’s right in front of me

Sometimes the journey isn’t about moving forward as we’re all lead to believe

Just inward

For today, I’m going to be the carrot rather than chase the carrot.

Thanks to everyone who came to Eats and Tweets in Larchmont  last week.  I had a great time talking about how to use social media to engage a community around what you do.

The time went so fast and there was so much more that I wanted to say, so I decided to do a little continuation here.  Even if you weren’t at the event, I’m sure that what I have to say will shed some light on what I see is often a painful situation for people.

Many people are very stuck around social media and it’s stopping them from moving forward in their business.

It doesn’t have to be that way.

There are so many places to show up now–Blogging, Twitter, Linked In, newsletters and Google+.

How do you know where to go?

Which is the best use of your time?

The important thing is to pick one place to build a platform.  The first criteria for picking is knowing where your potential clients/customers hang out. And if you’re not sure, then pick one tool and commit to using it.  Unless you have a lot of time on your hands I really recommend focusing on just one of the tools and really putting in time to engage with people there, to post awesome content, and share other people’s stuff.

Going on Facebook a couple of times a week for a month or two is not going to do it.  Spending 20 minutes a day for six months will.  Like anything, what you put into it is what you get out of it.  Give yourself time to learn and master it. Be present in your communication and don’t just broadcast and run.  That’s not engagement.

Once you’ve built a platform in one area of social media you can then transfer it to another platform.   Trying to be everywhere at once is a recipe for failure.

Dealing With The Frustration

If you’re really struggling with using social media and you are not alone! My advice to you is to look at your relationship with being out of your comfort zone.  Seriously, that’s what it comes down to.  Whatever story you tell yourself about a situation is the basis for your relationship with that situation.  So ask yourself (and listen for what comes) when you think about mastering social media or starting a newsletter using Constant Contact or being on Twitter or Facebook–what’s the first thought that pops into your head?

It’s OK, I’ll wait…

When I asked myself that question the answer was always the same “this is going to be difficult and I’m not going to be able to figure it out.”

Well, that doesn’t exactly set the stage for success.

I realized that by the time I sat down to do something, I was so tense and angry at the thought of not being able to figure it out that I wasn’t able to see some of the simple solutions that were right in front of my face.  I was accustomed to playing an old program–”I can’t do this, there’s no one to help me, it’s never going to work out” that I ended up creating that outcome.

What’s the painful story that you’re telling yourself about how it’s going to go for you?

Facebook Twitter, Constant Contact, and Linked In are not smarter than you are.

Fourteen year old kids who use these things all the time are not smarter than you are.
It’s just new territory that you’re unfamiliar with. And if you’re telling yourself a painful story about how it’s going to go for you, you’re making things a lot harder than they have to be.

Here are a couple of things to remember before you even start:

• This is a new medium and it takes time to learn.  Did you figure out how to drive a car and parallel park after the first time you drove?

• You are not alone.  Most people over the age of 30 are challenged by social media

• Get clear on the story you’re telling yourself about how it’s all going to work

• Realize that’s just your opinion and past experience, but it’s not reality.  This time can be different.

• Envision that things go smoothly before you sit down to actually do them.

• If you get stuck, know that you can get help even if you’re not sure where to do to get it.

• Google your question and see if there’s a website to explain what you need.

When you change your thoughts about a situation, you change your relationship with it, and that changes the experience that you have.

Or in the words of the brilliant Wayne Dyer:
When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change

Even works for social media…

I promise.

Good business is built on relationships.
Good marketing creates a connection between the person selling the service or product and the potential client/customer.
Really good marketing actually touches the heart of the potential client/customer.
Great marketing makes the person feel so seen and understood that they never want to leave.

We all get the opportunity to connect with people whether it’s in-person, through e-mail, or on Facebook or Twitter.

Yet, people are so wrapped up in getting their message out to as many eyeballs as possible and using social media as a billboard/megaphone for their business that they’re missing connecting to a real person.

You know when you meet someone for the first time and they ramble on about themselves incessantly without even asking you anything about yourself?  Well that’s how a lot of people–too many people–are showing up on social media.

It’s a Bad Scene Out There

In the old days, you met someone at a networking event and if you wanted to follow up with them, you either e-mailed them with a note saying it was nice meeting them and asked for another meeting or you called them saying basically the same thing.

Etiquette is Out the Window

Now after having a nice conversation with me at a networking event you add me to your list and send me your newsletter.  No personal note, no acknowledgment that you know who I am or that we’ve spoken–I’m just number 287 on your list.

Hey thanks, just what I wanted, another newsletter in my inbox.

So you already made a connection with me and you could have made an even deeper connection but now I’m just part of the herd.

And how do you think I’m going to respond to that?

Not that well, that’s for sure.

I might have offered to help you promote that event you were telling me about at the networking event, but since you’re only interested in me because you think I’ll attend then why should I put myself out for you, you’re clearly only interested in your own agenda.

I found your company on twitter and started following you.  You followed back.  I watch your tweets, I like what you’re doing.  You decided to randomly send me your newsletter.

I unsubscribed and now I’m no longer following you.

Jamming your stuff down people’s throats does not make them want to like you.

The Rules of Engagement are simple.

• It’s not a numbers game.

• One person with passion is better than 40 people merely interested.

• If you care about people, they’ll care about you and your business

• It’s not about you, it’s about them

• Creating connection and being of service are the goals–getting clients and making money are the outcome.  There’s a difference.

I have so much more to say about this but I’m going to leave it here for now.  I’ll be using a lot of the time at Eats and Tweets: Using Social Media With Fierce Authenticity to talk about how to actually have meaningful conversations and make connections on Facebook and Twitter.  I’d love to see you there.

In the meantime, we’re using #rulesofengagment to continue the conversation on Twitter.

Come and share your experiences both positive and negative with being marketed to.

Hopefully it will help to raise awareness about how to make connections and build relationships.

Maybe together we can save the world from receiving unwanted newsletters.

How’s that for doing a service?

Back on the soap box of Fierce Authenticity– I’ve had a few conversations recently with clients and friends who are stuck.  Stuck with writer’s block (did someone call my name?) and stuck with moving their businesses forward. They think that the information they’re providing in blog posts and newsletters is nothing new–that it’s obvious.

And the thing is, is that the information is obvious--to them.

They’ve been doing what they do for a long time so it’s become second nature, yet just because something is obvious to you doesn’t mean it’s not a revelation to someone else.

So many of us get tripped up trying to re-invent the wheel.

What we don’t realize is that our individual take on something makes it fresh, new.
When you are a solopreneur, when you provide a service, when you are your business–it’s not just the information or the service or the product–but how it comes through you.  That’s what people want to experience.  They want to experience YOU.

It’s a rare moment when someone’s past and seemingly unrelated present collide.  I used to say I learned everything I know about life from the musical theater (and The Wizard of Oz of course).  It looks like that’s still true.

Here’s a lesson in Fierce Authenticity from Stephen Sondheim.

This is an excerpt from the song Move On from Sunday in the Park With George where the painter, George Seurat is sitting in front of a blank canvas talking with Dot, his mistress and his model.

Dot:  Are you working on something new?
George:  No
Dot:  That is not like you George
George:  I’ve nothing to say
Dot:  You have many things
George:  Well nothing that’s not been said
Dot:  Said by you, though, George.

George: I want to make things that count,
Things that will be new

George: What am I to do?
Dot:  Concentrate on now

George:  I want to move on
I want to explore the light.
I want to know how to get through
Through to something new.
Something of my own…

Dot: Stop worrying if your vision is new
Let other make that decision–
They usually do.
You keep moving on.

Dot:  Move on…
Stop worrying where you’re going…
Move on.
If you can know where you’re going,
You’ve gone.
Just keep moving on.

Anything you do
let it come from you
then it will be new
Give us more to see…

If you want to hear the music and see the brilliant Bernadette Peters and Mandy Patinkin singing it’s here: Sunday In the Park With George