What Happens When You Arrive

by Cathy on June 13, 2013

eatprayloveLately the energy that I’m seeing in those around me and what I’ve been caught up in myself is the energy of striving.

Strive (verb) – to make strenuous efforts toward any goal.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with working or striving toward a goal. It’s the fantasy about what happens after that goal is reached that’s the problem.

We’re often seduced by the idea that the place after the goal is somehow so much better than where we are right now.

As if having that thing (whatever that is for you) is going to change everything.

Remember the phenomenon that was Eat, Pray, Love?

After watching the clip of Elizabeth Gilbert’s talk at the 2009 TED conference on nurturing creativity, I was totally inspired… and very surprised.

Elizabeth Gilbert’s book, Eat, Pray, Love had a profound effect on my life. I remember being totally awed by the fact that this woman could drop out of life completely and go in search of herself abroad. If I could have taken any one of those three journeys for even of the fraction of the time she did I would have been ecstatic.

I had been longing for years to take a sojourn inward and just be with myself. I wanted desperately to unplug and go somewhere and ponder and write with no distractions and no interruptions. For many years this was my burning desire. So to say that I envied Elizabeth Gilbert would be putting it mildly. Not only did she get to take one year off to travel and immerse herself in foreign culture, she found the love of her life, came to terms with herself, and wrote about it in a book that sold 1.5 million copies.

If that’s not “having it all” I don’t know what is.

Her TED talk presents a very different picture of the post Eat, Pray, Love Gilbert.  She presents a different way of looking at creativity which is very interesting and also confesses that she had to do some research on the topic to manage her own difficulties since her book has been published. “What difficulty could you possibly be referring to Elizabeth?” Being mobbed at book signings or getting recognized at the supermarket?

Such problems, I wish I had them.

No, she’s talking about the possibility that at 40 years old she had already done her best work and that it’s all downhill from here. She’s currently in the process of trying to write her next book but instead has found herself fighting for her creative life. Who would have thought that finally arriving meant coming to terms with the most painful aspect of the artist’s life: that you’ve already said everything that you’re going to say, that anything you do from this point on will always fall short of what you did before. Not exactly the tools of inspiration and as she says in the lecture the reason why many a young artist succumbs to self-destruction.

So I thank you Elizabeth Gilbert for being so public with your struggle because now instead of envying you, I feel for you and I am reminded that we’re all struggling…with something.

We may be in different places on the ladder but the difficulties are no less painful the further up you go–they’re just different.

You’ve just got a different perspective.

We keep thinking that once we get to that next place, we’ll be able to exhale.

But the truth is, We never really arrive.

We just get where we want to go, and then there’s another place to go.

And as the Buddhists say: there is no there, only here.

What have you been striving for?

What do you think will change once you get there?

Feel free to leave your answers in the comments.

As always everything said here will be held with love and respect.

Love,

Cathy

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Are You Offering Them a Vision or Something They Need?

by Cathy on June 10, 2013

Avola-Syracuse-Sicilia-Italy - Creative Commons by gnuckx

What to Hold Back and What To Reveal In Your Marketing

I work with a lot of entrepreneurs who are just starting their business.  They come to me with some great skills and very often a big vision for their business.

There is no one that loves a cause, a vision, an overarching theme that ties it all together than I do.

And it’s important to know what that is for your business and to be connected to it at all times.
But your big vision–what you’re in service to, especially when you’re first starting out is not what’s out front in your business.  It’s a guiding force and works behind the scenes.

For example- I am a marketing coach who helps entrepreneurs who are in the fields of healing or self-improvement to create branding messages that speak to their ideal clients so that those who need their help know they are out there.

That’s the service my business provides.

The problem my business solves is inability to market your business effectively.

My bigger vision and what my business is in service to:
 
To help to make alternative healing and energy healing main stream so that those who want to take their health into their own hands know there are many ways to do that. It is my goal that through the work I do, to create an environment where people get educated in how to take care of themselves and understand alternative self-care so they never have to get sick in the first place.  It is my vision that alternative medicine and energy healing become the norm and that western medicine becomes the exception.

This is something you would not necessarily get from looking at my website–but you might learn my position on the issue of alternative healing from my tweets, FB updates and blog posts.

If I used the above big vision as my elevator speech or core marketing message would the holistic practitioners, coaches, and healers that I want to help know that I have a solution for them?

What’s the Problem You Solve With Your Business?

When you want someone to pay you for your services, being clear about the solution your business provides to an individual’s specific problem is key when it comes time for money to be exchanged.

Your potential client wants to know how you’re going to help them with whatever it is they’re struggling with.

How you plan to make a shift in the world with the work you do–not so much.

People will buy into specifics, but not generalities.

I believe that identifying what you are in service to is crucial.  For me, it’s the place I come back to over and over again to recommit to the work that I do and for inspiration.

You could say that what you’re in service to is the fuel for the machinery that is your business.

Being clear on what you’re in service to helps you know when to say yes to and when to say no.

It also keeps you focused on what really matters.

And over time, what you’re in service to can come through in your marketing but it’s not the starting place for a new business.

It’s something you grow into.

Getting What You’re In Service To Out There

If you have something that you’re in service to in your business and you’re really passionate about it, there are other ways to bring it out in into the world.

You can build a community around it or you can use it as a theme to put your ideas out in the world.  There are many ways.

It just so happens I’ll be talking all about creating online groups and communities tonight at 8PM EST with Marisa Goudy and Corinna Rake of Online Empowerment Formula.  It’s a free webinar, so why don’t you join us.
  In the meantime, I’d love to know your ideas or challenges for incorporating your big vision into the marketing message of your business.

All comments will be held as always, with love and care…

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You Don’t Need To Be Original, You Just Need to Be You

by Cathy on May 24, 2013

Self Coaching 101 Brooke Castillo “You don’t need to get there first, you just need to be the best.” – Steve Jobs

I spent a lot of time in my business trying to come up with original ideas–trying to be innovative, trying to do something no one else has done or say something no one else has said.

Have you ever had the thought–
“It’s already been said so why should I say it again?”

I’ve definitely had the experience of feeling deflated when I come across someone who has what appears to be the same philosophy I do and is doing the same work. When I come across information that shifts a paradigm for me, my first thought is–”why didn’t I think of that?”

That person has  already written the book so what’s left for me?

Many Things Bear Repeating

I had a wonderful experience recently that illustrates why it is so crucial to form your own take on things.

I had the pleasure of reading Brooke Castillo’s book:  Self-Coaching 101 recently.  I can say without exaggeration that that book was not just a game changer, it changed my life.

Everything is different since I’ve read it. 

If I were asked what I think the title should be I would say–The End Of SufferingHow to Transform Any Thought or Feeling Into a Positive State.  Because Self-Coaching 101 really doesn’t do it justice.

But what I found most interesting is that the information in the book is not new.  It’s a distillation of concepts from the work of Martha Beck, Byron Katie, Tony Robbins, Abraham Hicks, Eckhart Tolle and others.  But it’s the way she presents the information
to come up with a simple, straight forward self- coaching system that can be used in any situation.

Even though I’ve read the books by all of the above authors and loved them,  I never got “it” on a cellular level the way I got it from Self-coaching 101.

So I tell you, do not hold back.

Your voice matters.

Your unique take on something may reach someone in a way the original author can’t.

Your work may find someone at the moment when they’re finally ready to hear the concepts.

You don’t need to be the first to say it.  You just need to be you.

That’s Fierce Authenticity, Baby.

Love,
Cathy

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What If Your Weakness Turned Out To Be Your Greatest Strength

by Cathy on May 14, 2013

photo by D.sharon pruitt courtesy of flickr

photo by D.sharon pruitt courtesy of flickr

What if you knew that at the heart of your greatest struggle, was your greatest strength?

I was having a conversation with a client who is an EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique)  practitioner but also a professional musician.  As is the case with many holistic practitioners, her modality can help just about anyone with whatever they’re struggling with.   Since trying to market to everyone is the recipe for failure, we’re working on focusing her marketing message by deciding who she wants to help with what issue. We tossed the idea around of her working with musicians and performers to remove the blocks and anxiety that keep them from being great at what they do.

Of course I think this is the prefect branding for her but she said she’d rather focus her work on students who are having a hard time  in school and parents who are anxious because their kids aren’t doing well. Either one would work as a basis for her business, but to me it makes more sense for her to work with the population she is part of, to help those with a something that she has experienced.

I asked her why she didn’t want to work with musicians when she understood that world so well.  “It’s because I’m a very nervous performer.  Trying to help people with their anxiety around performing when I have so much of my own makes me feel like I’m a fraud.”

And my answer to her was–actually you’re not a fraud, you’re an expert because you’ve lived the situation. You have empathy and a deep understanding of what that struggle is.  Without empathy, there’s no real connection between you and the person you’re working with and therefore, a true shift can’t occur.

DING!

I could feel the light go on in her head and in that moment, she let herself off the hook of needing to be perfect.  The relief in her voice was palpable.

This is a very tender place to be. But here’s what I’ve seen over and over and here’s what I know for sure:

It’s the thing you wrestle with in your own life that ends up being the foundation of your work.  It’s what you’re trying to resolve that acts as the vehicle to bring your work into the world.

If it seems like a paradox, it is.  The sooner you can embrace this, the better for you, your business and those who need your help.

You don’t want to be a blank slate for your clients and you don’t want to be a faceless business.  You want them to know that you’re human and the more you can embrace your own humanity and own your imperfections and struggles, the more permission it gives them to do the same thing.

It takes a lot of energy to give the appearance of perfection.  Trust me, I did it for years…but that’s for another blog post.

So Where Does Fierce Authenticity Fit In With All Of This?

It fits in right now.  It’s not about hiding behind some image of perfection that you’ve conjured up for your business or as your persona.  It’s allowing your clients or the people around you who are struggling with something to be seen and witnessed by revealing that you’ve been where they are.   Even if it was just last week.  Even if it was yesterday.

Life is a work in progress and perfect only exists in the movies.

How you engage with the difficulty or the challenge is what’s important, not eliminating or sidestepping it.

It’s usually the thing you’re most scared to reveal that allows others to connect with you on a deep level.  It’s having the courage to allow yourself to be vulnerable that invites those around you to move in closer and to connect.  And at our deepest being, we’re all craving love and connection.  So when you reveal, you’re participating in something sacred.

We all need to know it’s OK to be where we are at any given moment–especially when where we are is a place of weakness–because the truth is, you can’t move from where you are without accepting it first.

Coming to that realization can be quite a relief.

Life isn’t about being perfect, it’s about showing up.  With all of who you are.

That’s Fierce Authenticity, Baby.

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When Niche Is Not Enough

May 10, 2013

What’s your reaction when someone asks you what you do? Do you describe your business by the service you provide? I’m a body worker, I’m an energy healer, I’m a life coach, I’m a financial advisor…. Or do you try to communicate something more. Once you get half way through the explanation do you get [...]

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How Do You Answer This Question

May 7, 2013

What’s your reaction when someone asks you what you do? Do you describe your business by the service you provide? I’m a body worker, I’m an energy healer, I’m a life coach, I’m a financial advisor…. Or do you try to communicate something more. Once you get half way through the explanation do you get [...]

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How Your Marketing Can Change Someone’s Life

May 1, 2013

If you’re afraid of something, of putting yourself out there, of creating a kind of connection or a promise, that’s a clue that you’re on the right track. Go, do that. – Seth Godin One of the biggest challenges I see my clients struggling with is promoting themselves and their services. I work with a [...]

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Should You Do A Big Launch Or Is There Another Way?

April 21, 2013

It’s finally spring here in NY and for a lot of us it’s also launch season! Every time I launch or re-launch a program I go through the same thing.  I always end up with a knot in my stomach between the time I put out the info about the program and the time that [...]

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The Secret To Taking The Next Step In Your Business

April 13, 2013

I have a lot of sayings that I use about building a business when I coach my clients and teach my classes but one of my most utilized sayings and concepts is– Start where you are and do what you can with what you have. In my opinion, this is one of the sanest and [...]

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What If Someone Has The Exact Same Business You Do?

March 26, 2013

The other day a client sent me a link to a website of a business that’s very similar to hers.  Almost identical as a matter of fact.  In my world identical business means that your business provides the same service for the same group of people as someone else. So from the outside, the businesses [...]

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