I Went to a Networking Event And All I Got Was This Lousy Gift Bag

by Cathy on January 12, 2012

 

There’s so much networking going on out there and there’s no doubt that attending networking events is one of the great tools for building a successful business.  But like everything, there’s a way to do it.

We’ve all been in the situation where we’ve had a conversation with someone who is a great fit for our work and who is interested only to have them say, “let me think about it and get back to you” and never see or hear from them again.

It’s very discouraging.

Networking can be a real drag if you’ve got the wrong expectation.

A lot of people hate networking and I totally get it. I did too.  Until I learned a few key things that changed everything.

The most important element of networking is YOUR mindset–the thoughts you’re holding about your situation and what you’re looking to get out of the event.

Going to Networking Events Is a lot Like Dating

Many people go to networking events with the sole objective of getting clients.  That’s like going to a bar and thinking you’ll end up in a committed relationship by the end of the night by trying to convince everyone you talk with to go home with you.

OK, it mostly never works… ;)

Business is a relationship and relationships take time.

Especially if you’re in a service business and not just selling a product.  More especially if your service is one of healing or transformation.  It’s crucial for potential clients to have time to build trust with you.  As a matter of fact, that’s why you’re marketing exists–it’s solely for the reason of building trust and safety.

 

The only realistic expectation to have is that you’ll connect with someone who is interested in what you do and agrees to be on your newsletter list.  They have now entered into a relationship with your business and that’s fantastic.  Through your newsletter they’ll be connected to you on a regular basis, get to know who you are, how you think and build safety and trust with you.

Maybe you’ve got someone’s card who you’ve spoken to that you plan on making a coffee date with to see how you might help each other.  That’s also great.
But there are so many other reasons to go to networking events that people overlook and frankly, some of these connections are way more valuable than getting a client or two.

Meeting a potential strategic partner.

Meeting someone who has the serves the same market with a different service or product than yours is a great way to get exposure to an entirely new group of people who want what you’re selling.  You can double your list and broaden your scope instantly by partnering with the right person.

Meeting someone who is a resource for your business.

Someone who provides services that your business needs or that your clients need (accountants, lawyers, web designers, etc..  It’s important to be great at what you do, but it’s also important to have great service providers to refer your clients to.

 
And–when you send this person business, they tend to send business your way to reciprocate.
 
Making a friend
Some of my closest friends are people I’ve met at networking events. And since being an entrepreneur can be lonely, having someone who understands your situation makes life a lot easier.

Meeting someone who is a source of referrals
What’s better than meeting someone who is going to send business your way?

Building Your Tribe

All of the above makes up half of this thing we call tribe. 

Your tribe isn’t just your target audience or market, it’s your peers and strategic partners. People who are new in business overlook this very important element and focus only on getting clients.

Big mistake.

I would be nowhere without my mastermind group and the other business owners who promote my services.

What About Letting Yourself off the Hook?

I invite you to try this visualization now–and again before your next networking event:

Close your eyes and imagine that you’re going to a networking event with a group of people you’ve never met before.  Imagine that you have more than enough clients and your business is booming–you’re extremely busy–you’re just going to the event to get out of your office, have a drink, and see who you might meet.

How do you feel now?

When you’re in the space of having more than enough, how does it change the way you relate to people who might be potential clients?  How do you talk to them?   Feel how it feels to have more than enough, to not need anything particular to happen.

Just take a moment with this.  I want you to just experience and that feeling.

Freeing isn’t it?

Because a weight that has been lifted.  That weight is fear.  Fear of provision, fear of failure, fear that everyone who thinks you’re crazy doing what you’re doing is going to be proven right.

The truth is getting clients and being successful doesn’t take away those fears.  I know plenty of people who are very successful who constantly doubt themselves, who are always worried about money, who never feel like what they have or what they’re doing is enough.

Validation, like self-esteem is an inside job.  And when you can move into a space of trust–that you’ll have enough, that you’re doing enough, that the path you’re on is unfolding and you just need to keep showing up and doing your best you can relax and be open and present to ALL of what’s available around you– at events and in life.

I invite you to test this out at the next networking event you go to.  I guarantee you that not only will you have a lot more fun, but something magical will happen.

Open mind, open heart, open space for something wonderful to enter…

It just so happens that I’ll be speaking on the topic of “Power Networking”  on Tuesday, January 24th at the Over 40 Females event in Mt. Kisco.  If you’re local, join us!

For more info go to: http://www.over40females.com/



 

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My New Year’s Wish For You

by Cathy on December 30, 2011

Goodbye 2011Before you join the legions of others who are setting intentions and thinking about what they want to create in 2012, I want to encourage you to take some time with what is and with what 2011 has been for you before we’re swept into 2012 and it’s all forgotten.

What was happening for you this time last year?

We’re so conditioned to always be moving forward–to get more, to be more, do more.  It creates this lopsided vision in life that has us always looking ahead, but never looking back.

I fall into this pattern a lot–being fixated on the destination without ever stopping to congratulate myself when I’ve actually reached it.  I’m focused only on how far I have to go instead of how far I’ve come.

Always Striving–Never Arriving

Showing up for life, being there for others, all the little things we do because we have to not because we want to–we deserve to acknowledge ourselves for that.  Not doing so especially when accomplishments are involved is toxic to our fragile hearts.

Not appreciating all that you do and all that you are will send you right to Never Never Land.  And I’m not talking about Peter Pan here.

I’m talking about the land of never doing enough, never having enough, and nothing ever being enough–also known as Hell.

You deserve congratulations for showing up and for all that you do everyday that goes unnoticed.

We all do.

In Yoga there’s a principle called Santosha which is the practice of contentment–of allowing yourself to not require more than you have in the moment to be happy. It’s the opposite of grasping.
Think about those times in your life when you’ve felt like everything was just as it should be and you needed nothing more.  It’s pure peace.

Being content is to the emotions as rest is to the body.  

I’m not saying that you can’t strive or want more, I’m just saying that there needs to be a balance.  Contentment is the resting place.  Contentment allows you to stand where you are which is actually critical to moving forward because you can’t move from where you’re not.

Are you with me so far?

You can’t be all of who you are if you can’t see all of who you are.

Don’t let this year end without owning all that you’ve done, handled, let go of, endured, transformed, or triumphed over in 2011.

You made it.
You got here.
Now let the love in.

“There is an applause superior to that of the multitudes–one’s own.” – Elizabeth Elton Smith

Between now and midnight on December 31st, I hope that you’ll make the space to contemplate the year that’s passed and allow yourself to be filled with gratitude for all that you do and all that you are.

Here is a little guide to journal with–I hope it helps.

What are you leaving behind or letting go of from 2011?

What was taken from you in 2011? (what did the circumstances and events in your life force you to confront and overcome or change)

Is there someone whose life you affected that is in a different place now because of something you did or said?
If you’re in the business of helping others to shift, step out of the role of helper for a moment and think about the small things you’ve done for people that barely registered to you but may have meant the world to them.   Advice, a sincere compliment, a reminder of who they are little things we often forget that make a big difference to someone else.

What’s different now from last year at this time in you or in your life?

What was the distance you had to travel emotionally to get there?

If you could sum up your year in one word, what would it be?

Feel free to share your answers in the comments–all will be held with love and tenderness.

Wishing you all the peace, love, and joy your heart can hold in the coming year.

Love,

Cathy

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Come Through the Window My Love, And Let Us See All That You Are

by Cathy on December 15, 2011

I’d say that the copy on this card is at the foundation  of what I teach my clients to do.  I’m always pushing them for “more you.”  I also know that this isn’t just important in business it’s imperative.

Chances are you are not the only one doing the thing you do, but you’re doing it in a way that’s unique to you. 

You bring something to it because of what you’ve been through; based on who you are as an individual.

That’s what separates you from everyone else who does the same thing you do.  There’s a freedom that’s available to you when you can be fully yourself in your business and trust that being who you really are is what will bring people closer to you.
I hear these amazing stories,
The deep truths that that people know
because of the things they’ve lived through
and the things they’ve learned.
I’m invited into soul chats
where I am the sole witness to their true purpose emerging for the very first time
And I watch as they claim what they are here to do.
I am the observer of hearts bursting open
ignited by truth and passion
as they walk, step by step into all of who they are. 

And every single time, I am awed.

And then they come back down to earth.

What will people think?
What if no one responds?
What if I end up looking like a fool?

And the story goes away.

It’s a strange contradiction really.  We all want to be seen and heard.  We want to be loved for who we really are and yet, we hesitate when the time comes to let that part be revealed. Especially in business.  We fear we’ll look unprofessional, or we might offend someone.

 
If being true to yourself offends someone, then how will it be to work with them if you have to hold that back?
 
I want you to know that people aren’t looking for perfect, they’re looking for someone who understands.
 
The more your potential clients know about who you really are (imperfections especially included) the more they want to with you. 
No one can relate to perfect.
When you embrace all of who you are and don’t try to hide it, it gives others permission to do the same.

And when it comes right down to it, we all want to be accepted for who we are–not the image we present to the world.

When you are your work, how else could it be?

This isn’t just for woo-woo businesses and people who are solopreneurs.  Even best-selling author and business guru Less McKeown is talking about the importance of authenticity in business (Have you been reading my blog, Les?)

Fear of Criticism is the Dream-Killer
Fear of being criticized is the number one reason that people hold back–their feelings; their true thoughts; what is important to them; what they live for; what they would die for.

“‘Come to the edge,’ He said. They said, ‘We are afraid.’ ‘Come to the edge,’ He said. They came. He pushed them…and they flew.” – Guy Apollinare

No more hiding.

What would you need to know, be, or feel to be your wild, courageous, brilliant self everyday in your business and in your life?

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When You’re Doubting Yourself

by Cathy on November 25, 2011

Photo courtesy of Wink- via Flickr

 

Earlier this week I was talking to an energy healer about a new modality that she’s using in her work.  She was so excited about how powerful it was, how everyone she used it on was blown away and then all of a sudden, her expression changed.

“I don’t understand why I’ve been given this gift if I’m not really able to use it.”
The subtext there is: ” If what I do is perceived as so powerful by the people I’ve done it with, why am I not able to support myself with this work?”

That sentence went through my heart like an arrow and I almost burst into tears.

This is the reason I do what I do.  This is what I am in service to.  Helping those whose work is an expression of who they are, whose work is bringing help and healing to the planet, make a living so that they can get out there in a bigger way.

Because when we’re blocked from doing what we’re meant to do, what we feel called to do, everything and I mean everything in our lives goes out of balance.

As I write this the first thing that floats into my head is, “Why does it have to be so difficult?” Oh my darlings, I wish I had a nice neat answer for that, but alas, I do not.

I don’t know why it’s difficult but I know why many give up too soon

Creating something from nothing is hard, but I believe it’s the painful stories we tell ourselves and the fear of being seen (which is actually a fear of being criticized) that shut us down.  There are ways around not having the right knowledge, not having enough time or not having enough money to do your thing.  Those are just rationalizations for the resistance that comes up when it’s time for the alchemy.

But if you’re not open to the idea of succeeding (your first thought here is probably, “of course I’m open to succeeding, that’s why I’m unhappy, I’m not succeeding with my thing)  Oh, dearest don’t be so sure.

Subconsciously many of us are more comfortable with NOT getting what we want than we are with getting it.  And when things become difficult we launch the painful story that what we have to give must not be wanted or that we’re not as good as we thought we were.  Once that fear is ignited it brings along its’ friend resistance and the next thing you know, you’ve arrived at STUCK. Oh, and after stuck comes despair.

The problem comes when you misinterpret the information

The things you put out that don’t succeed are there to give you information, to help you course correct.  I believe that entrepreneurship is a spiritual journey and a path to transformation.  And so the difficulties are there just the way they are in life–to bring you deeper into who you’re meant to be.

I can’t stand the word failure.  Nothing is a failure if you’ve learned from it.  If you know you’re on a path to something then you see the mistakes as information, not as a commentary on whether or not people want what you’re selling.

One of the Most Powerful Business Tools Is Trust

And what are you trusting in?  Trusting that you were lead by divine guidance to do the work that you do.  Trusting that if you got to this place then there is all manner of help and assistance available for you to be of service. Leaning into grace, leaning into that assistance and trusting that the next step will be revealed to you is what’s called for.

Let go of the painful story.

Trust in your gift.

Trust in the path you’re on, even if you have no idea what the next step is.

The world needs you and it desperately needs the work you do.

Whatever you do never give up.

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Stop Chasing the Carrot and BE the Carrot

November 7, 2011

Today I’ve made a conscious decision to focus on what is happening in my business instead of what’s not happening To focus on how far I’ve come instead of how far I have to go To focus on what I have instead of what I don’t have To bring gratitude and consciousness to my thoughts [...]

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What to do When You’re Overwhelmed With Social Media

September 28, 2011

Thanks to everyone who came to Eats and Tweets in Larchmont  last week.  I had a great time talking about how to use social media to engage a community around what you do. The time went so fast and there was so much more that I wanted to say, so I decided to do a [...]

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# Rules Of Engagment

September 20, 2011

Good business is built on relationships. Good marketing creates a connection between the person selling the service or product and the potential client/customer. Really good marketing actually touches the heart of the potential client/customer. Great marketing makes the person feel so seen and understood that they never want to leave. We all get the opportunity [...]

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Writer’s Block, Originality, and Stephen Sondheim

September 8, 2011

Back on the soap box of Fierce Authenticity– I’ve had a few conversations recently with clients and friends who are stuck.  Stuck with writer’s block (did someone call my name?) and stuck with moving their businesses forward. They think that the information they’re providing in blog posts and newsletters is nothing new–that it’s obvious. And [...]

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How Stepping Away Ignites Your Creativity

August 16, 2011

Hello My Lovelies! I just got back from vacation in Maine and it was chock full of epiphanies! First let me say that I was beyond burned out before we left.  I went on the trip with zero expectations the only thing I wanted was rest and to read a book about something that had [...]

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The Buck Stops Here: How Fear Will Shut Down Your Business Pronto!

August 4, 2011

There are lots of things that I say that get people riled up. The one that is usually met with the most push back is when I ask clients to “take the need to earn money off the table” when they’re working on their branding. “But I need to make money, I’ve got to pay [...]

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