photo by D.sharon pruitt courtesy of flickr
What if you knew that at the heart of your greatest struggle, was your greatest strength?
I was having a conversation with a client who is an EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) practitioner but also a professional musician. As is the case with many holistic practitioners, her modality can help just about anyone with whatever they’re struggling with. Since trying to market to everyone is the recipe for failure, we’re working on focusing her marketing message by deciding who she wants to help with what issue. We tossed the idea around of her working with musicians and performers to remove the blocks and anxiety that keep them from being great at what they do.
Of course I think this is the prefect branding for her but she said she’d rather focus her work on students who are having a hard time in school and parents who are anxious because their kids aren’t doing well. Either one would work as a basis for her business, but to me it makes more sense for her to work with the population she is part of, to help those with a something that she has experienced.
I asked her why she didn’t want to work with musicians when she understood that world so well. “It’s because I’m a very nervous performer. Trying to help people with their anxiety around performing when I have so much of my own makes me feel like I’m a fraud.”
And my answer to her was–actually you’re not a fraud, you’re an expert because you’ve lived the situation. You have empathy and a deep understanding of what that struggle is. Without empathy, there’s no real connection between you and the person you’re working with and therefore, a true shift can’t occur.
DING!
I could feel the light go on in her head and in that moment, she let herself off the hook of needing to be perfect. The relief in her voice was palpable.
This is a very tender place to be. But here’s what I’ve seen over and over and here’s what I know for sure:
It’s the thing you wrestle with in your own life that ends up being the foundation of your work. It’s what you’re trying to resolve that acts as the vehicle to bring your work into the world.
If it seems like a paradox, it is. The sooner you can embrace this, the better for you, your business and those who need your help.
You don’t want to be a blank slate for your clients and you don’t want to be a faceless business. You want them to know that you’re human and the more you can embrace your own humanity and own your imperfections and struggles, the more permission it gives them to do the same thing.
It takes a lot of energy to give the appearance of perfection. Trust me, I did it for years…but that’s for another blog post.
So Where Does Fierce Authenticity Fit In With All Of This?
It fits in right now. It’s not about hiding behind some image of perfection that you’ve conjured up for your business or as your persona. It’s allowing your clients or the people around you who are struggling with something to be seen and witnessed by revealing that you’ve been where they are. Even if it was just last week. Even if it was yesterday.
Life is a work in progress and perfect only exists in the movies.
How you engage with the difficulty or the challenge is what’s important, not eliminating or sidestepping it.
It’s usually the thing you’re most scared to reveal that allows others to connect with you on a deep level. It’s having the courage to allow yourself to be vulnerable that invites those around you to move in closer and to connect. And at our deepest being, we’re all craving love and connection. So when you reveal, you’re participating in something sacred.
We all need to know it’s OK to be where we are at any given moment–especially when where we are is a place of weakness–because the truth is, you can’t move from where you are without accepting it first.
Coming to that realization can be quite a relief.
Life isn’t about being perfect, it’s about showing up. With all of who you are.
That’s Fierce Authenticity, Baby.
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